Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry xmas

Just had christmas lunch, sitting here at the big table with friends and family all around, being told I'm anti-social so I'll keep this short. I'm going to write now before I start drinking- not sure how I am at typing while trashed. I'd probably just sit there and giggle. See you dudes around - will try and post before our NYE luau (how the hell you spell that, I've no idea - you know, hawaiian themed party thing).


Sunday, December 17, 2006

One more, just one more.

Five days of evening shifts is beginning to take a toll on me. I've been working every night from 4pm-closing, with the exception of Friday night when they let me off early, at 9pm. Dark circles, which long ago took up permanent residence under my eyes, are slowly creeping up around my eye sockets too. My back's slowly packing in, old injuries are becoming harder to ignore and new bits which I didn't think could hurt are beginning to. Who knew you could get sore elbows? And let's not even talk about knees and feet. Suffice to say that I think I should be sponsored by Herron Blue and V. Anyway my last shift for the week is tonight, and hopefully next week I'll get one more day off. If not, I'm going to ask Santa to postpone Christmas for a couple of weeks, so I have time to do my shopping, finally go to the bank, get a haircut and go to the physio. I'm only just realising that it's a week away.


PS I'm feeling very vindicated. Triple J has been playing Weekend Without Makeup by the Long Blondes on high rotation. What'd I tell ya!?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Why can't you?

Why do you do it to yourself?

Why do you feel the need to do it?

Why am I always tense when you're around, wondering whether you're going to make a complete fool of yourself and those around you?

Why can't I just relax and enjoy what is meant to be an enjoyable occassion?

Why do I feel a sense of responsibility for you?

Why do I always breathe a sigh of relief when you leave?

I can't do it anymore. I can't be your friend if it's going to be like this. I have my own shit to deal with here. I don't need yours. I don't need your problems to become my problems, just because you for whatever reason can't handle them on your own. I shouldn't be sitting here at one in the fucking morning with no sleep, stressing out over your latest display of appalling behaviour. It's bad enough that he doesn't try and stop you. If anything he encourages you with his laughter. But we shouldn't have to try and regulate your behaviour like a naughty child at a family 'do. You're a grown man, for fuck's sake, take some fucking responsibility for yourself! Don't you realise that while they're all laughing now, when you leave they all shake their heads? I can't even enjoy your company anymore. I spend the whole time worrying. Worrying that you're going to go too far and upset someone, worrying that you're going to offend everyone with your behaviour, worrying that you're going to throw up in my car on the way home, worrying worrying worrying. I shouldn't be worrying about you!

Why do I worry about you?

Why do you do it to yourself?

And why can't I tell this all to your face?

I'm a fucking useless bleeding heart, that's why.

God, I despise myself sometimes.


Monday, December 04, 2006

Brendan just pointed out that I have Autofill in my title box, and how would that be useful at all? I never actually thought about that. It's pretty dumb. He's all excited about having a new myspace even though he only has the one friend (Tom...I think I deleted him...).

I find this often...throughout the day I think of good things to blog about, then when I actually go to do it, I can't think of anything to write...Brendan is trying to hijack the keyboard...he hits those keys so damn hard. They should sue. It would be a class action, he says. It would.