Oh my god, have you ever seen such a big crowd of attractive people so hiedously dressed? It's like everyone started out with a dress that really suited them, then swapped with someone else so they were wearing totally the wrong thing.
I admit, I like watching the big awards events and seeing what everyone's wearing. But last night was not enjoyable for me. There were a few atrocities that particularly stuck in my mind
-a young blonde thing, probably from a soap, who was pretty and curvy, who wore a dress that not only showed off her surprisingly saggy boobs (support, girl!) but also her muffin tops, as it barely covered anything.
-a host of a travel show (I think), wearing a dress that was really beautiful, but absolutely pointed to her decollotage with neon arrows. Which would've been ok if her skin didn't look like saddle leather (someone's obviously done a bit too much tanning in their youth).
-Bridie Carter, whose boobs looked like they were about to spring out to say hello.
-Pauline Hanson, who wasn't content with scaring everybody just because she's a white supremacist bigot, and had to go around showing off saggy middle aged cleavage. I mean seriously, there are kids watching.
And there should be a rule - 45 seconds max for acceptance speeches, and if you haven't got one prepared, they give the logie to someone who has. Because I've heard five-year-olds speak more eloquently than that most popular new female 'talent' chick (I use 'talent' very, very loosely here, and only because that's the name of the award that she supposedly deserved). seriously girl, you won most popular new talent. Which means in 2 years time you'll either be at McDonald's saying 'do you want fries with that?' or at Frankston Shopping Centre, performing to 30 four-year-olds who don't know better with the latest flop single of your horrendous pop album, which sold 20 copies after your family and pet dogs bought two copies each.